Turtlenecks in July

As I type, I am blowing warm recycled air out of my lungs and onto my icy fingers. My legs are wrapped in a giant fleece, and for my toes, there is no hope.

I would like to put my summer wardrobe to use, but as it is, I am keen on wearing sweaters and wool trousers to work everyday. Why? Because what has become the norm in the working world is making me miserable. While 90+ degress outside, it is a frosty 60 degrees in my "area."

I’m onto them. I suppose they've devised a new method of “forcing out” an employee – it’s a little game they like to call, Freeze the Bitch. My alcove I now refer to, lovingly, as my igloo. I expect little penguins and giant Coca-Cola bears to come wandering over at any moment now. My orchid, which enjoys humid, tropical weather, is very angry and looking rather ill. As a result of my location, no one has really bothered to come check on me. For all they know I could be frozen to my chair and unable to get up. Therefore, I suffer my fate alone.

I’ll give ‘em this much. It’s a valiant effort, but they will not succeed. I will continue in my state, even if I have to build a fire out of pencils and old file folders. I’m not going anywhere…unless a hot Eskimo comes to whisk me away, but I digress…